Waltz Me Around Again, Willie
(parody of "Cielito Lindo" - a.k.a. "Limericks", "Waltz Me Around On Your Willie" & "Chinamen Never Eat Chili")
Words & Music:
Traditional
The first version (with the
italicized alternate lyrics) is the one I learned at girls' camp. Really. Then comes Oscar Brand's far more clever
"Limericks" version and other variations after that. The verses are as varied as the
limericks you can recall and sing.
After "Ay, yi, yi, yi!", insert any generic insult to finish
the first line of the chorus or just use the same one over & over. There was an actual tune with
this title by Ben Shields & Ren Cobb recorded by Billy Murray in 1906; but
it has no resemblance to this parody.
CHORUS:
A D
E7
A
Ay, yi, yi, yi! Your mother swims after troop ships.
E
Now, sing me another verse
that's worse than the other verse
[alt: "Now, sing me a chorus, I'll rub
your clitoris."]
A
And waltz me around again,
Willie!
[alt: "And waltz me
around on your willie!"]
A
E7
There once was a man from
Beirut
E7
A
Who had several warts on his
root.
D
A
He put acid on these and now,
when he pees,
E7 A
He holds the damn thing like a
flute!
CHORUS:
Ay, yi, yi, yi! Your sister does squat-thrusts on
flagpoles.
Now, sing me another verse
that's worse than the other verse
And waltz me around again,
Willie!
There once was a man from
Nantucket
Whose c--- was so long, he
could suck it.
He said with a grin as he
wiped off his chin,
"If this were a c---, I
could f--- it!"
CHORUS:
Ay, yi, yi, yi! Your grandmother works on a corner.
Now, sing me another verse
that's worse than the other verse
And waltz me around again,
Willie!
Oscar Brand "Limericks" version:
There once was a poet from
McNameter
Whose mistress kept calling
him amateur.
She said, "Your technique
is too rough & antique
And your rhythm's iambic
pentameter!"
CHORUS:
Ay, yi, yi, yi! In China, they do it for chili.
So, Here comes another verse
that's worse than the other verse
So, waltz me around again,
Willie!
There once was a girl from St.
Paul
Wore a newspaper out to a
ball.
There came a great fire, which
burned her attire
The front page, sports section
and all.
CHORUS:
A hermit who lived in Belgrave
Kept a dead prostitute in his
cave
Says he, "I'll admit I'm
a bit of a nit,
But think of the money I
save!"
CHORUS:
There once was a maiden name
Myrtle
Who amused herself with a sea
turtle.
And what was phenomenal, her
swelling abdominal
Revealed that the turtle was
fertile!
CHORUS:
A newsboy from London named
Grimes
Lured maids onto infamous
crimes.
"I delivered" he'd
boast "Two Globes and a Post.
And Goodness knows how many Times!"
CHORUS:
A very coy girl from Siam
Remarked to her boyfriend to
try-am.
"To undress me, of
course, you might have to use force
But the Lord knows you're
stronger than I am!"
CHORUS:
There was a maid married at
Chester.
Her mother first cried and
then blessed her.
She said, "What a
joy! He's a wonderful boy!
I've had him myself down in
Leicester!"
CHORUS:
There once was a maitre
d'Hotel
Who said, "My guests can
all go to Hell.
What they do to my wife is the
bane of my life!
The worst is: they do it so
well!"
CHORUS: [new words]
Ay, yi, yi, yi! In China, they do it for chili.
We haven't another verse that
worse than the other verse
So, waltz me around again,
Willie!
"Fort Benning Infantry School" version:
"At Infantry School at
Fort Benning we used to sing 'Chinamen Never Eat Chili' to pass the time as the
cattle trucks hauled us from one training area to another. It was an organized,
participatory song; anyone who wanted to sing a verse raised his hand during
the chorus, and the person designated as "leader" would point to the
next singer."
CHORUS:
Aye, Aye, Aye, Aye! Chinamen never eat chili.
So, let's have another verse
thatÕs worse than the other verse.
And waltz me around again,
Willie.
There was a young lady from
Thrace
Whose corset grew too tight to
lace.
Her mother said, "Nellie,
thereÕs things in your belly
That didn't go in through your
face."
CHORUS:
There was a young plumber from
lee
Who was plumbing his girl by
the sea
She said, "Stop the
plumbing, there's somebody coming!"
Said the plumber, "What's
coming is me."
CHORUS:
Add limericks of your own
until you run out of them.