Waltz Me Around Again, Willie

(parody of "Cielito Lindo" - a.k.a. "Limericks", "Waltz Me Around On Your Willie" & "Chinamen Never Eat Chili")

Words & Music:

Traditional

 

The first version (with the italicized alternate lyrics) is the one I learned at girls' camp.  Really.  Then comes Oscar Brand's far more clever "Limericks" version and other variations after that.  The verses are as varied as the limericks you can recall and sing.  After "Ay, yi, yi, yi!", insert any generic insult to finish the first line of the chorus or just use the same one over & over.   There was an actual tune with this title by Ben Shields & Ren Cobb recorded by Billy Murray in 1906; but it has no resemblance to this parody.

 

CHORUS:

A           D         E7                 A

Ay, yi, yi, yi!  Your mother swims after troop ships.

     E                                          

Now, sing me another verse that's worse than the other verse

[alt:  "Now, sing me a chorus, I'll rub your clitoris."]

    A

And waltz me around again, Willie!

[alt: "And waltz me around on your willie!"]

 

      A                      E7

There once was a man from Beirut

    E7                       A

Who had several warts on his root.

       D                 A

He put acid on these and now, when he pees,

   E7                          A

He holds the damn thing like a flute!

 

CHORUS:

Ay, yi, yi, yi!  Your sister does squat-thrusts on flagpoles.

Now, sing me another verse that's worse than the other verse

And waltz me around again, Willie!

 

There once was a man from Nantucket

Whose c--- was so long, he could suck it.

He said with a grin as he wiped off his chin,

"If this were a c---, I could f--- it!"

 

CHORUS:

Ay, yi, yi, yi!  Your grandmother works on a corner.

Now, sing me another verse that's worse than the other verse

And waltz me around again, Willie!


Oscar Brand "Limericks" version:

There once was a poet from McNameter

Whose mistress kept calling him amateur.

She said, "Your technique is too rough & antique

And your rhythm's iambic pentameter!"

 

CHORUS:

Ay, yi, yi, yi!  In China, they do it for chili.

So, Here comes another verse that's worse than the other verse

So, waltz me around again, Willie!

 

There once was a girl from St. Paul

Wore a newspaper out to a ball.

There came a great fire, which burned her attire

The front page, sports section and all.

 

CHORUS:

 

A hermit who lived in Belgrave

Kept a dead prostitute in his cave

Says he, "I'll admit I'm a bit of a nit,

But think of the money I save!"

 

CHORUS:

 

There once was a maiden name Myrtle

Who amused herself with a sea turtle.

And what was phenomenal, her swelling abdominal

Revealed that the turtle was fertile!

 

CHORUS:

 

A newsboy from London named Grimes

Lured maids onto infamous crimes.

"I delivered" he'd boast "Two Globes and a Post.

And Goodness knows how many Times!"

 

CHORUS:

 

A very coy girl from Siam

Remarked to her boyfriend to try-am.

"To undress me, of course, you might have to use force

But the Lord knows you're stronger than I am!"

 

CHORUS:

 


There was a maid married at Chester.

Her mother first cried and then blessed her.

She said, "What a joy!  He's a wonderful boy!

I've had him myself down in Leicester!"

 

CHORUS:

 

There once was a maitre d'Hotel

Who said, "My guests can all go to Hell.

What they do to my wife is the bane of my life!

The worst is: they do it so well!"

 

CHORUS:  [new words]

Ay, yi, yi, yi!  In China, they do it for chili.

We haven't another verse that worse than the other verse

So, waltz me around again, Willie!

 

 

"Fort Benning Infantry School" version:

"At Infantry School at Fort Benning we used to sing 'Chinamen Never Eat Chili' to pass the time as the cattle trucks hauled us from one training area to another. It was an organized, participatory song; anyone who wanted to sing a verse raised his hand during the chorus, and the person designated as "leader" would point to the next singer."

 

CHORUS:

Aye, Aye, Aye, Aye!  Chinamen never eat chili.

So, let's have another verse thatÕs worse than the other verse.

And waltz me around again, Willie.

 

There was a young lady from Thrace

Whose corset grew too tight to lace.

Her mother said, "Nellie, thereÕs things in your belly

That didn't go in through your face."

 

CHORUS:

 

There was a young plumber from lee

Who was plumbing his girl by the sea

She said, "Stop the plumbing, there's somebody coming!"

Said the plumber, "What's coming is me."

 

CHORUS:

 

Add limericks of your own until you run out of them.

 





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